Lessons in humility

When I began this online writing experiment about 10 months ago, I gave it the somewhat general title "Journeys" so that when I left France, I wouldn't feel as though I needed to start a new blog in order to continue writing.  In fact, I even began a new blog, "Metropolitan meditations and running ruminations" so as to distinguish my travel writing from my random thoughts.  And yet, what this blog is really about is life's journeys.  Whether the movement is physical, emotional, spiritual, intellectual, visual or psychological, it all plays an important role in dictating the road ahead.  

This Saturday was no different.  Thankfully, my teammates cruised to victory in their respective singles matches, and we won a convincing doubles match doubles to clinch an overall league victory for our club.  That was the good news of the day.  Although the match had already been won, I struggled viciously at the number one  position in a loss to a player ranked several levels below me.  There are of course several factors that contributed to my 7-6, 6-4 defeat.  Firstly, to give credit to my opponent, she came out ready for battle and to take full advantage of a possible upset.  Secondly, I was unprepared for the match.  Given the relative ease with which I had won my previous matches, I arrived at the club lacking sleep and the appropriate nourishment to face a more formidable opponent.  With the entire team and many of the club regulars watching, I allowed the pressure to build and failed to keep the whole moment in perspective.  Whereas my recent training has helped me to make great strides in my game, very little evidence of that improvement appeared on the terre battue yesterday.  As insignificant as it may be, the thought of that match is still rather poignant.

All the same, tomorrow is another day. I will shove my racquets in my backpack, lace up my clay-stained sneakers, pop in my headphones filled with the voice of Fresh Air's Terri Gross or Le Masque et la plume's Jérôme Garcin as I walk to the RER A in Vincennes.  On my ride to those same courts that featured Saturday's defeat, I will likely remember the many off-the-mark groundstrokes and double faults that contributed to my lack of success.  Although the match result will remain the same, the thought of stepping back out onto the court quickly transforms my regret and disappointment back into a love of the sport that motivates me to continuing training, day after day. And in the end, while I relish the sparkling feelings of victories, it is the pain, the process of recovery from the losses and the drive for something better that keeps me coming back for more.